For Love or Funny

It's 84 o'clock. Do you know where Granny is?

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:00:00 +0000

This beautiful grandfather clock is a guest in our home.

Like any guest, it doesn't always fit in.

The other day at noon, it rang 84 times.

For love or funny, I hope your Thanksgiving guests aren't as weird as our clock.

Weekend Wish

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 10:23:00 +0000

Homemade pumpkin pie is very tasty.

Especially when you realize how

impossible it is to pry open a pumpkin.

This weekend,

I hope all of your pumpkins are easy to manage.

Let's make the holidays easier

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 10:00:00 +0000

We're a week away from Black Friday, the biggest shopping day of the year. Personally, crowds give me hives. So, instead of braving the malls, I shop from home.

One of the places I like to visit is Etsy.com. It's a great place to find lovingly made, one of a kind items to give as presents. Many of the Etsy stores are run by Moms who supplement their family's income with their craft. I love that.

Here are some of the Etsy stores I like:

dogartstudio has a huge assortment of pet portraits, and they are gorgeous.

katiesegel makes super cute hats for toddlers.

WarmCountryMeadows has really cool terrariums for sale.

A miniature green garden may just help me get through the winter...

dbabcock makes awesome pottery. This piece is just beautiful.

Perfect for sitting on the kitchen table.

theprettypeacock makes personalized hand stamped rings.

I'd love to get one with my kids' names on it.

Have you begun to get ready for Christmas?

Before, During, and After

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:00:00 +0000

Before...

During...

After...

I miss the leaves.

But I don't miss the gnats.

Grounds for insanity

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:50:00 +0000

Often, I get in the way of my own fun. Sure, I may look like some hot 25 year old, but I'm really a cranky old lady who desperately needs new glasses. Take playgrounds, for instance. Back when my kids were little, going to the playground was the highlight of their day.

I hardly enjoyed it.

"Mommy, look! A slide!!"
Meanwhile, I'd be thinking: "Will I catch you when you come flying off the end?"

"Mommy, look! I'm going to climb the weird ladder."
Me: "Where is the nearest emergency room?"

"Look, Mommy, a duck!!"

Me: "How many swine flu germs are on the handle?"

Now, I look at playgrounds and remember when my kids were little. Their joy at the simplest things, like a slick sliding board, is something I've been trying to incorporate into my psyche every since.

For love or funny, my kids have taught me far more than I can possibly teach them.

I'm not turned on by sexy men any more.

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:23:00 +0000

Gone are the days when a pair of broad shoulders made me swoon. In fact, whiskers used to be my downfall. Got a beard? I'm a goner.

I still like beards, but now I need more than that.

Nowadays, there's one thing that really turns me on: COMPETENCE.

Are you on time?
Hello, handsome.

Do you actually know what you're talking about?
Oh, my. I think I'm developing a crush.

Got a manicure? Ick. I like men with dirt under their nails.

You can fix something?
Hmm. This is getting serious.

Wait a second. You said you were going to do something, and you kept your word? Whoa. I'm experiencing an estrogen surge.

Not only did you fix something, but you left it better than before?
Kiss me, you fool.

This is me when I meet a man of honor. I guess I wear my heart on my, um, tongue.

You hammered your thumb, bit back a curse, didn't step on the dog, and agreed to have a catch with the kid even though you're exhausted?
...I think I love you.

For love or funny, my priorities sure have changed.

As if I don't have enough to do already...

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 10:40:00 +0000

My "faithful" companion and I were running errands this morning. All seemed well until I glanced over at her and spotted, well, this:

Say hello to my little friend.

There was a dust bunny on her nose. A big one. This was unusual. Normally, my dog's nose looks, well, like this:

Not a dust bunny to be found on this honker.

Lately, though, that nose carries more than it should. The other day, she walked around for a half hour with a tiny piece of Kleenex on her snout. Wouldn't that drive you crazy?

I guess she has a cold.

Side view, 'cause I'm all about good reporting.

Yeah, you should be embarrassed. You've got a huge speck on your nose.

Being that I've had my breakfast and I'm semi-lucid, I can only deduce that not only do I need to clean my house more often, I also have to dust my dog.

For love or funny, when do we get to STOP adding jobs to our to-do lists?

Lost time

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:00:00 +0000

At a traffic light, I...

a) spill my water.
b) drop the iPod.
c) sift through junk for my iPod.
d) wish I'd clean my car.
e) find the iPod, dry it off, and feverishly plug it in before light changes.
f) search for my favorite Donna Summer song.
g) jump out of my skin when the dude behind me beeps when the light turns green.

For love or funny, there's got to be a better way to wait for the light to change. Suggestions are welcome!

Weekend Wish

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 11:00:00 +0000

This weekend, I hope you get a chance to see
more blooms before the cold air settles in.

I'm not sure

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Festive pumpkin display?

Pumpkins unaware of their fate to become pie?

You decide.

Very stupid-stitious

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:00:00 +0000

It's Friday the 13th. I scoff at the notion that "13" brings bad luck. In fact, I open umbrellas indoors. I even walk under ladders. See, I'm not superstitious at all!

But then I got to thinking, which usually spells trouble.

If I'm brutally honest with myself, I do have some superstitions.

The pillows have to be a certain way every morning, or the kids will get sick. Makes perfect sense, right?

At night, I gotta set out the next day's outfit or the kids will get sick. Who knew that so much is riding on which sweats I wear?

My nightstand has to be just so, or the kids will get sick. By the way, isn't my phone AWESOME?

For love or funny, please tell me I'm not the only one who relies on pillows, sweats, and table tops to keep the kids healthy.

Can I pretend these are capri pants?

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:30:00 +0000

Parents have many jobs.

Personally, I think that finding clothes that actually FIT our kids

is the hardest job of all.

Surprise! Where's the remote?

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:30:00 +0000

Stick with me, because these pretty leaves weren't the only things I spotted on my walk...

The rose bush had one more bloom on it, which temporarily distracted me from the danger that lurked twenty feet away. Don't scroll down if you've got a weak stomach.

Oh, deer! Sorry about the blurry picture, but I was shaking with fright. Look at the way they glare at me. It's as if they know I put vegetables on my kids' plates.

These bullies are on their way to my yard, where they will chow down on rhododendron before they barge into my house and steal the remote.

In my haste to beat them to my house, I nearly stepped on this:

Ick!

I screamed like a little girl and sprinted (okay, more like lumbered) home. Not wanting to upset the kids, I locked myself in my room before I indulged in some wracking sobs. Actually, I was only able to sob once (it was more like a hiccup) before I heard "MOM? I'm hungry."

I swear, if someone installed a vending machine in my house, they'd make a fortune.

For love or funny, parenting doesn't give you much time to feel sorry for yourself.

Battle of the sexes

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:30:00 +0000

Ever wonder why we're so different?

Mom: "I'm gonna take our kid to the doctor."

Dad: "How 'bout you wait until her fever creeps over 100?"

Mom: "I'm exhausted."

Dad: "You look hot."

Mom: "If I have to cook another healthy meal, I'll scream."

Dad: "How 'bout we order pizza?"

Mom: "I gotta pee."

Dad: "But we've only been in the car 15 minutes."

Mom: "Hey, kids! Come here for some hugs and kisses."

Dad: "Let the wrestling begin!"

Mom: "I'm fat."

Dad: "I think you're hot."

For love or funny, thank goodness we're so different.

WHEN IT'S BAD TO BLEND IN

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:45:00 +0000

Do you know that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach when you lose something? That's been happening to me a lot lately.

Ohmygosh, where's my dog?

Oh. There she is...

Phew.

To prevent future panic attacks, I think I should dye my dog neon pink until Springtime.

Weekend Wish

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 11:00:00 +0000

I hope you find many things
to be grateful for this weekend.

Signs of stupidity

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 10:45:00 +0000

Now THIS is a sign that can generate all sorts of conversation.

I love failure

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:45:00 +0000

This may sound weird, but I want my kids to fail.

Before you summon the authorities, let me explain. In our house, our kids have one job: homework. Every day after school, we expect them to finish their homework. Now that they are 10 and 13 years old, my husband and I do not check assignment books. We do not proofread. We do not help the kids complete their daily assignments. It is by design; we want our kids to be self-sufficient learners. Not only that, we think it's important that our kids have something that is completely their own.

It ain't easy. A little while ago, my daughter realized that she neglected to study for a big test.

Failure loomed.

We didn't get angry. We sympathized, because it's an awful feeling when you realize that you've dropped the ball. We weren't happy that she forgot to study, but we knew that this was a Learning Moment. The fear, discomfort, and regret she was experiencing would motivate her to become a more responsible student far more than the gentle reminders we were so tempted to give.

With any luck, it was the last time she'll forget to check her assignment pad.

To this end, I read a great article called "Let your kids fail," by Chip Ingram. Here is an excerpt:

Kids never learn how to cope with life when parents do all the coping for them. They enter adulthood without the confidence that they'll be able to handle whatever comes their way...To make it in this world, kids need to know how to struggle. They need to learn how to persevere for a hard-fought victory and how to handle disappointment when victory doesn't come...Once they become adults, the world won't clean up after their mistakes, and it won't nurse their wounds when they are treated unfairly. If they've learned wisdom and responsibility early, they'll reap the benefits for a lifetime.

Now is the time to fail. I want my kids to experience it now so that they will do everything in their power to avoid it next time. Their future depends on it.

What is your homework policy?

Autumn makes me grumpy

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:45:00 +0000

Sigh.

Autumn stinks.

I'm surrounded by people who take delight in every falling leaf... yet I'm suffused in dread.

It's coming. Oh, the horror. I don't know how I'll survive.

No, I'm not dreading another trip to my dental hygienist. I'm anticipating something far worse: winter.

The icy cold, the bone chilling winds, the sleet, the ice, the snow... all of it conspires to coop me up inside. I hate being inside.

However, being a sourpuss puts a damper on everyone's fun. So, I've generated a list of things to do during the winter:

1) LIsten to the kids quarrel.
2) Organize the basement. Woopee.
3) Panic about germs and wash hands constantly.
4) Stare at four walls.
5) Eat loads of baked goods.
6) Listlessly page through a magazine.
7) Sit on the couch.
8) Do a sit up on the couch.
9) Watch TV like a zombie.
10) Take unnecessary naps on the couch.

Any other suggestions?

The forecast is...

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:00:00 +0000

Behold, the "wooly bear" caterpillar. Now is the perfect time to spot these critters in the Northeast. They are on the move, seeking a nice log to crawl under to hibernate. Legend has it that the bigger the brown section on a wooly bear, the milder the winter.

Ever searching for ways to serve the greater good, I will now deliver my 2009-2010 winter forecast based on extensive research and pain-staking analysis of the wooly bears in my locale.

In other words, I spotted 3 wooly bears on my walk and now I'm ready to tell you whether or not it'll be cold this winter.

Ahem. My scientific conclusion is: this winter will be mild. So, don't bother putting away your shorts and t-shirts, folks. You're gonna need them in the middle of January when you're shoveling three feet of snow off your driveway.

For love or funny, you heard it here first.

For more facts about wooly bear caterpillars, click here.

Time travel stinks

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 11:00:00 +0000

I know that a Time Travel Machine exists. It's sitting somewhere in my garage, and a mad scientist sneaks in and fiddles with the dials. I've got proof, because we're in the beginning of November and somehow I skipped September and October.

23 days until Thanksgiving.

52 days until Christmas.

58 days 'till 2010.

I'd really like to find this Time Travel Machine and destroy it, but there's no way I'll unearth it beneath ~~all the junk I gotta throw away~~ our valuables. Instead, I'm going to focus on finding that mad scientist who keeps accelerating time. What a jerk. I could get so much done if he'd stop messing with the universe.

I'm not ready for the holidays.

For love or funny, I think I need a nap.

Getting away with it

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:45:00 +0000

What would you do if you were invisible? At Halloween, we can be invisible - cloaked by masks and the dark of night. What happens to us then?

A man by the name of Arthur Beamer found out. One Halloween, he invited trick-or-treaters to help themselves to candy with one rule: they were to take just one piece.

The kids without masks or coverings followed the rule. However, the kids whose identities were hidden often broke the rule, sometimes taking handfuls of candy.

While nobody's looking, I'll eat ten...

Anonymity can be a good thing. It gives us the chance to try on a role and see how it fits; but the temptation to "break the rules" is strong.

Did any of your kids wear headpieces that masked their identities on Halloween? Did you notice a change in behavior? Did you see a surge in mischief thanks to the cover of darkness?

This year, Halloween made me wonder...how do we raise our kids so that they behave admirably, even under the cloak of anonymity?

Beamer's research team discovered that two things improved the kids' behavior during the Halloween candy experiment:

1) When they asked the masked children for their names, they followed the rules.
2) When they put a big mirror behind the bowl of Halloween candy, everyone followed the rules.

Nobody wants to be haunted by the image of their bad behavior. Indeed, a good conscience guides your child even when he's under the cloak of anonymity.

This guy didn't listen to his conscience.

So how do we parents foster a good conscience?

1) Be a good moral example...if you make a mistake, own up to it and make amends. You're human, just like your kids.

2) Teach virtues that guide behavior, like honor, patience, self-discipline, and empathy. Choose a characteristic, talk about it, and ask your kids to look for examples during the week.

3) Help your kid learn right from wrong.

No doubt, teaching good values is a difficult task because we are imperfect creatures ourselves. That's okay. Perhaps our kids will feel better about their mistakes if they know that we struggle to be good, too.

How do you teach your kids about good values?

For love or funny, let's hope our kids are forgiving of our parenting flaws.

(Click here if you'd like to read more about how to develop your kid's good conscience.)

Weekend Wish

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 11:00:00 +0000

This weekend, I hope you get
all your favorite candy.

Halloween

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 10:00:00 +0000

Does this dog love to get dressed up, or what?

Happy Halloween!

When October 31st rolled around in early America, it was like any other cold fall day. The deeply religious Pilgrims in New England did not celebrate ghosts and goblins.

However, as our nation grew, Halloween became more common in the southern colonies. The customs of European immigrant groups and the American Indians in Colonial America began to meld, and communities would gather to tell scary stories, tell fortunes, dance, sing, and put on plays.

By the latter part of the 19th century, the Irish immigrants who fled the potato famine of 1846 brought their Celtic celebration of Halloween with them. On the night of October 31st, they believed there was a thin veil that separated the living from the dead; among their customs on that night, they introduced America to the fun of dressing up in costumes and going house to house for treats.

In the 1950s, with the baby boom in full swing, trick-or-treating from house to house proved to be a great way for the whole neighborhood to participate in Halloween. Families began to give out treats in order to avoid tricks, and the American version of Halloween took off.

May your Halloween be full of treats, not tricks.

Halloween facts were found at history.com http://www.history.com/content/halloween/real-story-of-halloween/halloween-comes-to-america

Bring in the clowns

forloveorfunny@me.com (Lynn from For Love or Funny) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 10:00:00 +0000

Wanna scare me? Dress up like a clown and I'll cry like a little baby.

I don't know what it is about a clown's red nose, wild hair and huge shoes... wait a second, it sounds like I'm describing myself. Am I having an epiphany? Am I frightened by clowns because I'm frightened by me? Interesting. Hold on, I'm going to go look in the mirror...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Actually, I screamed because I look so fine.

But let's get back to my problem with clowns. I knew a girl who was a trained clown. She'd dress up and perform at kids' birthday parties and shows, but deep down, I sensed that she carried a lot of sadness inside her. See, I'm deeply attuned to these things. Plus, she never smiled, which was kind of a dead giveaway to the whole sadness thing.

You'd think I'd like clowns, considering that I'm drawn to people who goof around, crack jokes, and poke fun at themselves. Their happiness appeals to me.

Clowns, on the other hand, are difficult to read under all that makeup. Perhaps it is the prospect of hiding one's true nature that frightens me the most about clowns.

For love or funny, the fact that I actually endeavored to have a deep thought about clowns is the most frightening thing of all.