WHEN IT'S BAD TO BLEND IN

Do you know that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach when you lose something? That's been happening to me a lot lately.

Ohmygosh, where's my dog?

Oh. There she is...

Phew.

To prevent future panic attacks, I think I should dye my dog neon pink until Springtime.

Weekend Wish

I hope you find many things 
to be grateful for this weekend.

Signs of stupidity

Now THIS is a sign that can generate all sorts of conversation.

I love failure

This may sound weird, but I want my kids to fail.

Before you summon the authorities, let me explain. In our house, our kids have one job: homework. Every day after school, we expect them to finish their homework. Now that they are 10 and 13 years old, my husband and I do not check assignment books. We do not proofread. We do not help the kids complete their daily assignments. It is by design; we want our kids to be self-sufficient learners. Not only that, we think it's important that our kids have something that is completely their own.

It ain't easy. A little while ago, my daughter realized that she neglected to study for a big test.

Failure loomed.

We didn't get angry. We sympathized, because it's an awful feeling when you realize that you've dropped the ball. We weren't happy that she forgot to study, but we knew that this was a Learning Moment. The fear, discomfort, and regret she was experiencing would motivate her to become a more responsible student far more than the gentle reminders we were so tempted to give.

With any luck, it was the last time she'll forget to check her assignment pad.

To this end, I read a great article called "Let your kids fail," by Chip Ingram. Here is an excerpt:

Kids never learn how to cope with life when parents do all the coping for them. They enter adulthood without the confidence that they'll be able to handle whatever comes their way...To make it in this world, kids need to know how to struggle. They need to learn how to persevere for a hard-fought victory and how to handle disappointment when victory doesn't come...Once they become adults, the world won't clean up after their mistakes, and it won't nurse their wounds when they are treated unfairly. If they've learned wisdom and responsibility early, they'll reap the benefits for a lifetime.

Now is the time to fail. I want my kids to experience it now so that they will do everything in their power to avoid it next time. Their future depends on it.

What is your homework policy?

Autumn makes me grumpy

Sigh.

Autumn stinks.

I'm surrounded by people who take delight in every falling leaf... yet I'm suffused in dread.

It's coming. Oh, the horror. I don't know how I'll survive.

No, I'm not dreading another trip to my dental hygienist. I'm anticipating something far worse: winter.

The icy cold, the bone chilling winds, the sleet, the ice, the snow... all of it conspires to coop me up inside. I hate being inside.

However, being a sourpuss puts a damper on everyone's fun. So, I've generated a list of things to do during the winter:

1) LIsten to the kids quarrel.
2) Organize the basement. Woopee.
3) Panic about germs and wash hands constantly.
4) Stare at four walls.
5) Eat loads of baked goods.
6) Listlessly page through a magazine.
7) Sit on the couch.
8) Do a sit up on the couch.
9) Watch TV like a zombie.
10) Take unnecessary naps on the couch.

Any other suggestions?

The forecast is...

Behold, the "wooly bear" caterpillar. Now is the perfect time to spot these critters in the Northeast. They are on the move, seeking a nice log to crawl under to hibernate. Legend has it that the bigger the brown section on a wooly bear, the milder the winter.

Ever searching for ways to serve the greater good, I will now deliver my 2009-2010 winter forecast based on extensive research and pain-staking analysis of the wooly bears in my locale.

In other words, I spotted 3 wooly bears on my walk and now I'm ready to tell you whether or not it'll be cold this winter.

Ahem. My scientific conclusion is: this winter will be mild. So, don't bother putting away your shorts and t-shirts, folks. You're gonna need them in the middle of January when you're shoveling three feet of snow off your driveway.

For love or funny, you heard it here first.

For more facts about wooly bear caterpillars, click here.

Time travel stinks

I know that a Time Travel Machine exists. It's sitting somewhere in my garage, and a mad scientist sneaks in and fiddles with the dials. I've got proof, because we're in the beginning of November and somehow I skipped September and October.

23 days until Thanksgiving.

52 days until Christmas.

58 days 'till 2010.

I'd really like to find this Time Travel Machine and destroy it, but there's no way I'll unearth it beneath all the junk I gotta throw away our valuables. Instead, I'm going to focus on finding that mad scientist who keeps accelerating time. What a jerk. I could get so much done if he'd stop messing with the universe.

I'm not ready for the holidays.

For love or funny, I think I need a nap.

Getting away with it

What would you do if you were invisible? At Halloween, we can be invisible - cloaked by masks and the dark of night. What happens to us then?

A man by the name of Arthur Beamer found out. One Halloween, he invited trick-or-treaters to help themselves to candy with one rule: they were to take just one piece.

The kids without masks or coverings followed the rule. However, the kids whose identities were hidden often broke the rule, sometimes taking handfuls of candy.

While nobody's looking, I'll eat ten...

Anonymity can be a good thing. It gives us the chance to try on a role and see how it fits; but the temptation to "break the rules" is strong.

Did any of your kids wear headpieces that masked their identities on Halloween? Did you notice a change in behavior? Did you see a surge in mischief thanks to the cover of darkness?

This year, Halloween made me wonder...how do we raise our kids so that they behave admirably, even under the cloak of anonymity?

Beamer's research team discovered that two things improved the kids' behavior during the Halloween candy experiment:

1) When they asked the masked children for their names, they followed the rules.
2) When they put a big mirror behind the bowl of Halloween candy, everyone followed the rules.

Nobody wants to be haunted by the image of their bad behavior. Indeed, a good conscience guides your child even when he's under the cloak of anonymity.

This guy didn't listen to his conscience.

So how do we parents foster a good conscience?

1) Be a good moral example...if you make a mistake, own up to it and make amends. You're human, just like your kids.

2) Teach virtues that guide behavior, like honor, patience, self-discipline, and empathy. Choose a characteristic, talk about it, and ask your kids to look for examples during the week.

3) Help your kid learn right from wrong.

No doubt, teaching good values is a difficult task because we are imperfect creatures ourselves. That's okay. Perhaps our kids will feel better about their mistakes if they know that we struggle to be good, too.

How do you teach your kids about good values?

For love or funny, let's hope our kids are forgiving of our parenting flaws.






(Click here if you'd like to read more about how to develop your kid's good conscience.)

Weekend Wish

This weekend, I hope you get 
all your favorite candy.

Halloween

Does this dog love to get dressed up, or what?

Happy Halloween!

When October 31st rolled around in early America, it was like any other cold fall day. The deeply religious Pilgrims in New England did not celebrate ghosts and goblins.

However, as our nation grew, Halloween became more common in the southern colonies. The customs of European immigrant groups and the American Indians in Colonial America began to meld, and communities would gather to tell scary stories, tell fortunes, dance, sing, and put on plays.

By the latter part of the 19th century, the Irish immigrants who fled the potato famine of 1846 brought their Celtic celebration of Halloween with them. On the night of October 31st, they believed there was a thin veil that separated the living from the dead; among their customs on that night, they introduced America to the fun of dressing up in costumes and going house to house for treats.

In the 1950s, with the baby boom in full swing, trick-or-treating from house to house proved to be a great way for the whole neighborhood to participate in Halloween. Families began to give out treats in order to avoid tricks, and the American version of Halloween took off.

May your Halloween be full of treats, not tricks.

Halloween facts were found at history.comhttp://www.history.com/content/halloween/real-story-of-halloween/halloween-comes-to-america